15 years

15 years ago on June 23rd was my baptism day. It most likely wasn't the day I believed in God, that probably happened beforehand. And when people ask "are you baptized?" or confirm with me that they are baptized to tell me that they are believers, I find that not as significant as asking the more deeper questions on the gospel. However, baptism has its significance and it's on doctrine on why God ordained it which is not what I'm going into. But it made me think back to 15 years ago or so...

When I was 12 or so, I began having a passion for God. The retreat I went to in 8th grade had a theme or sub theme about being on fire for God. Some people told me that spiritual highs last only like a week and then it goes away. I was like "no way!" And it really was amazing. If I were asked what age I'd go back to, I would usually say 5 to be a kid and have fun, but I really would go back to 8th or 9th grade. I enjoyed learning about God sooo much. And being a kid I had so much energy and excitement. In 9th grade, someone else just became a believer and she and I loved sharing our passion for God. It really was child-like faith. I think of Revelations 2 and how the church of Ephesus was exhorted for losing their first love. That's me and a lot of us as we are older and our faith becomes just dead. Where is the excitement and joy? The most cheerful people I know in my life are those who really treasure the gospel. I'm jealous of their joy and cheerfulness. Life isn't all that well for them, but they are able to cling back to the simple gospel that Jesus died for them despite their sins, and they have all that they need, basically Jesus.

I thank God for sustaining me these past 15 plus years in the faith. It definitely is not by my doing. I could easily fall away, God isn't visible the way I wish, God doesn't work the way I wish He would. Life has become less exciting, He has become less exciting, I feel He's playing games. But He is God, He is good. He draws me back and I don't know why other than He has chosen me to be His child. 

people pleaser?

For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

wonder woman

I write this as an ordinary person, not with any elite or special credentials. Mainly to remember my thoughts. I just watched Wonder Woman, I didn't watch any trailers but just heard it was good. I'm glad I didn't watch the trailers actually so everything I watched was all unexpected. I didn't know very much about Wonder Woman so many things were surprising which I like!

Now, what stood out was how they mentioned the evil of mankind. Other movies have villains and terrible things that happen that must be addressed, however, they explicit talked about the evil of man. As unreal as God sometimes feel for me even though I have the intellectual knowledge of Him, the world still sense morality in this world. There is this inner evil in man. Somewhat related, it made me recall a message I once heard at Pacific Crossroads Church that talked about "stories". We all love stories regardless if we are well learned in literature or not. And in stories there are heroes and saviors. In our story, Jesus is the Savior. And He is real. I pray for those who have fallen from the belief of God will recall the story of Jesus and how He is the answer of our needs. Even in the good things like relationships, career, they can become idols over our Creator.

As we get older we experience more, this year I've experienced and have heard more deaths than I like, and closer than I'd like. Death of my dad, death of my kid at work, death of friends' loved ones have hit harder and mere intellectual belief will not suffice. Then there's the evil in this world of murder of far or close people, kidnapping, hurt, betrayal that I hope will never happen in my life. Belief in Jesus that He died for us must be real to us when no one is looking.




Now on another topic about women and how Wonder Women is so fierce, or whatever word you'd like. I could see how some Christian writers may say how this isn't what a woman is to be like. I am not too sure yet or read specific things on that. The Bible show that women are to be prudent, wise, submissive, loving, hospitable, Proverbs 31 stating she's hard working, fears God, etc. She isn't a weakling. Maybe the word "submissive" stands out and sounds too inferior. However, it is how we view it and use it that makes the difference. Husbands are to be respected by women, husbands are to lead. A women is not strong if she argues and dominates over him, she is strong when she shares her wisdom and prays for her husband and encourages him and hopes for the best of him and respects him and submits by allowing him to lead. Leadership isn't dominating, it is serving. Husbands serve their wives and cherish her and washes her with the Word, prays for her, honors her with his speech. In the process of our culture pushing for women's rights, it is true that we are to be treated equally, however we were also created for different roles. I am not a wife and have much more to learn in regards to this so this is incomplete and will be a learning process.

to be continued.. maybe