Why I do what I do (Part 2)

Why I do what I do? It has been two years since I asked this question and started my last schooling (I hope) in my life. Since the age of 4, my life had supposedly been to reach to this point of obtaining a job. Is this really what the last 20 or so years been about? What if I had an accident that prevented me from finishing school or I had passed away? Would those years have been a waste since I did not reach my goal? I remember a eulogy someone gave about a girl who died as a teenager and he mentioned how people said that she had so much ahead of her. But to him, she did not die in vain as if her number of years were a waste. What is life's goal other than to live for the Creator?

Here are two occasions that make me ponder about others and myself. I remember talking to someone about how I'd be ok if God willed me not to live further. He asked if I reached my peak in life then. He felt he had not reached his peak, as if there's still more to life and he wasn't ready to die even though he believed in God.
Another occurred before that correspondence. Another friend asked me what my goal in life was and I said that today I would live it to the fullest. I do not know if tomorrow will come, if I will have the dream of a husband and children, but for today, I live it the way God wanted me to. Of course I do not live in such a way all the time, but I have that mindset that I wish to live out.
I am not a big dreamer, but I know people out there who are. Yet we both are imbalance because I may find the world mundane and the other is dissatisfied if God does not allow them to live to that day where their dream is fulfilled. I wish I could be a dreamer but at the same time entrust those dreams in the Lord. And those who are as such, that is amazing and I wish to hear more from you (stir up some passion and energy in me)! I think of that blog series and book on rescuing ambition, but that will be for antother time.

This week will be the beginning of a new chapter, a chapter my 20 years of schooling has led up to. But I hope to have ingrained in my mind that I am foremost a child of God, not foremost an occupational therapist or church member or daughter or friend. My identity is in Christ.

I am cleaning out my email inbox and I see all these emails of graduate school applications, assignments, college life, and so forth. It has been such a long, long journey that a part of me am thankful I have forgotten the feeling of, but also a part does not want to forget the journey in order to be reminded that it was not simple. God's grace was ever present when I failed, had to switch career paths, had to move, had to trust, had so much uncertainty, sinfully and selfishly elevated myself over others, put my security in my works rather than His.

I think of Ghana and how I did not intend to go to show compassion, yet God instilled in me still a heart for children with disabilities. So I just continue to hope that as I work, He graciously gives me a big heart for what I do as He pleases.