individualism in the church

It is scandalous that so many believers today have such a low view of the church. They see their Christian lives as a solitary exercise - Jesus and me - or they treat the church as a building or a social center. They flit from congregation to congregation - or they don't associate with any church at all. That the church is held in such low esteem reflects not only the depth of our biblical ignorance, but the alarming extent to which we have succumbed to the obsessive individualism of modern culture." Charles Colson as quoted in Why Small Groups? by CJ Mahaney.

Why I do what I do (Part 2)

Why I do what I do? It has been two years since I asked this question and started my last schooling (I hope) in my life. Since the age of 4, my life had supposedly been to reach to this point of obtaining a job. Is this really what the last 20 or so years been about? What if I had an accident that prevented me from finishing school or I had passed away? Would those years have been a waste since I did not reach my goal? I remember a eulogy someone gave about a girl who died as a teenager and he mentioned how people said that she had so much ahead of her. But to him, she did not die in vain as if her number of years were a waste. What is life's goal other than to live for the Creator?

Here are two occasions that make me ponder about others and myself. I remember talking to someone about how I'd be ok if God willed me not to live further. He asked if I reached my peak in life then. He felt he had not reached his peak, as if there's still more to life and he wasn't ready to die even though he believed in God.
Another occurred before that correspondence. Another friend asked me what my goal in life was and I said that today I would live it to the fullest. I do not know if tomorrow will come, if I will have the dream of a husband and children, but for today, I live it the way God wanted me to. Of course I do not live in such a way all the time, but I have that mindset that I wish to live out.
I am not a big dreamer, but I know people out there who are. Yet we both are imbalance because I may find the world mundane and the other is dissatisfied if God does not allow them to live to that day where their dream is fulfilled. I wish I could be a dreamer but at the same time entrust those dreams in the Lord. And those who are as such, that is amazing and I wish to hear more from you (stir up some passion and energy in me)! I think of that blog series and book on rescuing ambition, but that will be for antother time.

This week will be the beginning of a new chapter, a chapter my 20 years of schooling has led up to. But I hope to have ingrained in my mind that I am foremost a child of God, not foremost an occupational therapist or church member or daughter or friend. My identity is in Christ.

I am cleaning out my email inbox and I see all these emails of graduate school applications, assignments, college life, and so forth. It has been such a long, long journey that a part of me am thankful I have forgotten the feeling of, but also a part does not want to forget the journey in order to be reminded that it was not simple. God's grace was ever present when I failed, had to switch career paths, had to move, had to trust, had so much uncertainty, sinfully and selfishly elevated myself over others, put my security in my works rather than His.

I think of Ghana and how I did not intend to go to show compassion, yet God instilled in me still a heart for children with disabilities. So I just continue to hope that as I work, He graciously gives me a big heart for what I do as He pleases.

For the wall

The walls to my room have been bare since they were painted maybe five years ago. I wish I took a picture of my wall in high school but it was full of postcards, the starbucks frap bottle sticker, veggie tales, and much more random stuff that I don't even remember. I finally got to doing something to add to the current blank walls so that my stuffed green peas and stuffed animal Stitch don't make my room look that kiddish.

The possibilities

The progress: http://flipagram.com/f/JuisNdC32B

The product

Still many little imperfections, but it will be nice to wake up and see this reminder on my wall.

(My dad didn't read the whole phrase and said, who is controlling the U.S.?)

Added these to my wall which were easier to create using tape and money to purchase the painting from Ghana.

More from Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

Relationships is everywhere, coming with all sorts of dynamics. God wants us to love one another, yet He does not want any god before Him. That is quite not easy haha

These quotes from Relationships: A Mess Worth Making shed some light on this

"When I live out a biblical sense of who I am (identity) and rest in who God is (worship), I will be able to build a healthy relationship with you... The identity I assign myself will always affect the way I respond to you.

Much of the disappointment and heartache we experience is the result of our attempts to get something from relationships that we already have in Christ.

No human being was ever meant to be the source of personal joy and contentment for someone else... Only when I have sought my identity in the proper place (in my relationship with God) am I able to put you in the proper place as well.

When we fail to worship God as Creator in our relationships, we try to ascend to his throne and do all we can to recreate others in our own image."

How scary is that?! That we try to make people like us and therefore we try to be God. I feel I have to constantly remind myself of these Truths. Relationships are so tricky and in a previous post I mentioned how knowing 100% of relationships will have issues is actually freeing. We may try to avoid relationships because of fear of conflicts to arise, but they will come. So rather than being afraid of what is inevitable, we remind of ourselves of our only hope in Christ. It is because of Him, relationships are made possible.