On church membership-discipleship

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-church-on-the-fringes

right in front of her

A blogpost I had drafted but not post from 2/26/14

There is a young lady who is looking for something to satisfy her. Some days she is carefree, but most days she is anxious about her responsibilities and future. She tries to rationalize things, look for the best possible route in life... She seeks comfort in her people. She looks to blogs and movies for answers. When trouble comes she questions why they come about. She tries to busy herself with work, hobbies, meaningless things. She wonders why people are unreliable, do not meet her expectations. She wonders if she will find that someone who will satisfy her needs. She looks to the right, to the left, and all around. But... her hope, her answers, her desires are all right in front of her. At the flip of a page, at folding of the hands and closing of the eyes, and at the stillness of her heart, her hope is there. I say, this young lady is me. I may agonize over things, over people, and have no peace in my heart because I ignore what is right in front of me. My hope is God and His words are right in front of me. I can pray and come to Him anytime, and He knows my heart full well. Even if I have poor reasoning, He does not.

Church

Church has been a part of my life since I was probably born. For some reason, not only because it is a weekly place I go to, it is such an important topic to me. I am not exactly sure why because I know for some even with their weekly investment, they do not think so much about it as much as I do, not that they are necessarily negligent. I think in college, having been part of a small church, I learned more about the little nuances of church as a whole. It really was when a part suffers, the rest suffers since one person may take up a great proportion.

Churches look so different across the country. Some feel like a good fit for people and some feel as a semi-good "fit". I think it is possible to be in a church that's a really good fit, be in a church that may have some things you feel uncomfortable with but you'd still commit to, be in a church where one is really not growing, and be in an unbiblical church. I have learned so much from being in two different churches. They are more similar than different in terms of theology, but somewhat different in culture and dynamics. Even having gone to school and meeting true believers but with different theology on some things, I've learned about different kinds of Christians, and it is a beautiful thing. It is tough because red flags go up when things you are taught in a church to be aware of in your own life go off but are not necessarily unbiblical and appear in others or at a different church or organization. But it is beautiful because the gospel is the same and when He is central, we'd seek the same thing. I remember watching "12 Years a Slave" on the plane while going to Ghana and at our stop in Germany, I was telling a classmate about how I think of Christ and how unjust it was for him to die just like that character being a slave when he didn't deserve it. 12 years was long, but Christ suffered the wrath of the eternal God. And that sparkle in her eyes and awe in Christ made my heart melt as she shared that joy with me.

So what is church? It is a body of believers. It is Christ's bride. God desires it to be holy. In Greek it is Eklessia meaning "out from and to". We are to look different from the world. There are churches that are "conservative" and churches that are more "liberal". But what does God want? I don't really get this conservative or liberal idea other than what does God want from us. To admit we are sinners so we love people with all sorts of sins, to obey Him so we seek to fight sin and ask for forgiveness, to share about Christ's love.

Some say evangelism should be relationships being built first and others do it cold contact style. If we love the Lord, I think we'd do it both ways. Christ did it both ways and the apostles did it both ways. What may be more bothersome is how is it within the church? It is such a great place to build relationships! It is a great place to talk about the Lord! In the church do we see each other as eternal souls? I think it'd be evident by the conversations made. There's gossip in the church and sometimes unintentional. But if we are children of God, how can we treat each other that way? We are all in this together. As we get older for some reason that rejoicing together in God, that wrestling with faith together, that accountability diminishes, the American culture of individualism soaks in, the mission for the Lord decreases... I pray we'd see the preciousness of church, as messy as it will be.

There are so many great resources for the laymen on church which have way better things to say than I can. I didn't mention any of the essentials 9Marks make like preaching, membership, discipleship, evangelism. Those are so so crucial so if anything read those than what I said because I may have just rambled. haha. A helpful website when looking for a church.

http://9marks.org/ 

http://www.gty.org/Resources/Questions/QA121

individualism in the church

It is scandalous that so many believers today have such a low view of the church. They see their Christian lives as a solitary exercise - Jesus and me - or they treat the church as a building or a social center. They flit from congregation to congregation - or they don't associate with any church at all. That the church is held in such low esteem reflects not only the depth of our biblical ignorance, but the alarming extent to which we have succumbed to the obsessive individualism of modern culture." Charles Colson as quoted in Why Small Groups? by CJ Mahaney.

Why I do what I do (Part 2)

Why I do what I do? It has been two years since I asked this question and started my last schooling (I hope) in my life. Since the age of 4, my life had supposedly been to reach to this point of obtaining a job. Is this really what the last 20 or so years been about? What if I had an accident that prevented me from finishing school or I had passed away? Would those years have been a waste since I did not reach my goal? I remember a eulogy someone gave about a girl who died as a teenager and he mentioned how people said that she had so much ahead of her. But to him, she did not die in vain as if her number of years were a waste. What is life's goal other than to live for the Creator?

Here are two occasions that make me ponder about others and myself. I remember talking to someone about how I'd be ok if God willed me not to live further. He asked if I reached my peak in life then. He felt he had not reached his peak, as if there's still more to life and he wasn't ready to die even though he believed in God.
Another occurred before that correspondence. Another friend asked me what my goal in life was and I said that today I would live it to the fullest. I do not know if tomorrow will come, if I will have the dream of a husband and children, but for today, I live it the way God wanted me to. Of course I do not live in such a way all the time, but I have that mindset that I wish to live out.
I am not a big dreamer, but I know people out there who are. Yet we both are imbalance because I may find the world mundane and the other is dissatisfied if God does not allow them to live to that day where their dream is fulfilled. I wish I could be a dreamer but at the same time entrust those dreams in the Lord. And those who are as such, that is amazing and I wish to hear more from you (stir up some passion and energy in me)! I think of that blog series and book on rescuing ambition, but that will be for antother time.

This week will be the beginning of a new chapter, a chapter my 20 years of schooling has led up to. But I hope to have ingrained in my mind that I am foremost a child of God, not foremost an occupational therapist or church member or daughter or friend. My identity is in Christ.

I am cleaning out my email inbox and I see all these emails of graduate school applications, assignments, college life, and so forth. It has been such a long, long journey that a part of me am thankful I have forgotten the feeling of, but also a part does not want to forget the journey in order to be reminded that it was not simple. God's grace was ever present when I failed, had to switch career paths, had to move, had to trust, had so much uncertainty, sinfully and selfishly elevated myself over others, put my security in my works rather than His.

I think of Ghana and how I did not intend to go to show compassion, yet God instilled in me still a heart for children with disabilities. So I just continue to hope that as I work, He graciously gives me a big heart for what I do as He pleases.

For the wall

The walls to my room have been bare since they were painted maybe five years ago. I wish I took a picture of my wall in high school but it was full of postcards, the starbucks frap bottle sticker, veggie tales, and much more random stuff that I don't even remember. I finally got to doing something to add to the current blank walls so that my stuffed green peas and stuffed animal Stitch don't make my room look that kiddish.

The possibilities

The progress: http://flipagram.com/f/JuisNdC32B

The product

Still many little imperfections, but it will be nice to wake up and see this reminder on my wall.

(My dad didn't read the whole phrase and said, who is controlling the U.S.?)

Added these to my wall which were easier to create using tape and money to purchase the painting from Ghana.

More from Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

Relationships is everywhere, coming with all sorts of dynamics. God wants us to love one another, yet He does not want any god before Him. That is quite not easy haha

These quotes from Relationships: A Mess Worth Making shed some light on this

"When I live out a biblical sense of who I am (identity) and rest in who God is (worship), I will be able to build a healthy relationship with you... The identity I assign myself will always affect the way I respond to you.

Much of the disappointment and heartache we experience is the result of our attempts to get something from relationships that we already have in Christ.

No human being was ever meant to be the source of personal joy and contentment for someone else... Only when I have sought my identity in the proper place (in my relationship with God) am I able to put you in the proper place as well.

When we fail to worship God as Creator in our relationships, we try to ascend to his throne and do all we can to recreate others in our own image."

How scary is that?! That we try to make people like us and therefore we try to be God. I feel I have to constantly remind myself of these Truths. Relationships are so tricky and in a previous post I mentioned how knowing 100% of relationships will have issues is actually freeing. We may try to avoid relationships because of fear of conflicts to arise, but they will come. So rather than being afraid of what is inevitable, we remind of ourselves of our only hope in Christ. It is because of Him, relationships are made possible.

In the Valley

One of my favorite songs is "In the Valley".

Based off of a Puritan prayer, it resembles a trust in the midst of trials. More than that, it appreciates the suffering and struggle. That is where the power and glory of God is revealed.

The prayer:

LORD, HIGH AND HOLY, MEEK AND LOWLY
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
   where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
   hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox
   that the way down is the way up,
   that to be low is to be high,
   that the broken heart is the healed heart,
   that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
   that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
   that to have nothing is to possess all,
   that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
   that to give is to receive,
   that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
   and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
                   thy life in my death,
                   thy joy in my sorrow,
                   thy grace in my sin,
                   thy riches in my poverty
                   thy glory in my valley

This is the original version of the song: "In the Valley"

And here's a fun rendition we did a few years back for Nicaragua missions night

thoughts on missions from someone not thinking about missions

There is so much that can be discussed and to think about with missions. From a recent retreat focusing on missions, I am reminded of the need to pray for missions - for those who are sent (specifically sent from my church plus more), for the people of the world who don't know Him, and for God's glory. I hadn't thought about missions in awhile but this weekend also reminded me of my role as a recipient of God's grace what I am to think and live out. A few years ago I went to Taiwan for a short term mission for the second time. That trip was just one and a half years after my first overseas missions trip, but I felt more sober-minded and spiritually tired. I didn't think missions was for me if it drained me that much. But God would not give me more than I can handle, really meaning by my own strength I cannot handle it, but I can handle it because He is my strength.

In my support letter that year I wrote:

Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among all the peoples. For great is the LORD and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods.” Psalm 96:3-4 

God is jealous
…to be known, worshiped, and glorified. “For you shall worship no other god, for the
Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” Exodus 4:14 

God doesn’t need us
…but He uses us. Therefore we should be obedient to His commandments to go make
disciples of all nations. “Nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything,
since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things.” Acts 17:35 

His love is great
…and He reigns over me. “For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this,
that one died for all, therefore all died.” 2 Corinthians 5:14 

We delight in God
I know many of you love the Lord. That is of utmost importance that we have a
relationship in Christ and delight in God. I am not going to Taiwan because I have a deep
calling to go, but because I love God. So for you who aren’t going on organized missions, if
you love God, you are already on missions. Missions are not driven by a love for the lost but
a love for God.

Whether here in the US or there across the land and over the ocean, we love God. We do "missions" not necessarily because we want to but because God wants us to. And because His ways are higher than mine, when I fix my eyes on Him and not my "ministries", He will receive full glory the way He desires. And for that reason we want to do missions. Ghana, Germany, New York, and Boston. Four cities I visited with all such different culture with different aspirations. But all have one need, and that is a Savior. The world is huge, but we have a bigger God. I titled the blog the way I did because these thoughts I think are very fundamental. I wouldn't consider myself a good example of one who is very mission-minded. I wouldn't impose or criticize if a believer didn't think or pray about missions, but I would encourage that to consider it since it is God's heart. Plus when we think of the world, it makes other concerns we have seem quite trivial.

traveling

This has been my second time traveling this year. I know many people have been to many places and there are some who have never flown to another country or let alone flown at all. But traveling to places where affection is built due to memories of friends, missions, and just a community of wonderful people like in Ghana I feel many pieces of me long for those places. (Visiting for merely sight-seeing is a little different.) The world seems smaller and at the same time bigger. Going to New York probably for the fourth time in my life, I feel NY less distant now that I have friends there. It is less foreign. Yet the world is bigger because I learn that there are so so many different kinds of people.
And what I hope it causes me to think is that whether I have control over my situation or not, God is bigger. He is sovereign over all.

Thankful for my time with three of my closest friends and my brother and his girlfriend. What a trip.

"Interestingly, the early church presented Noah's ark as a symbol of Christ. Some of the earliest drawings of Christ are representations of an ark affixed to a cross indicating that Christ is our ark. He is the vessel of mercy that we, once inside, can safely ride through the floods of God's judgment. God has always been merciful, and never more so than by giving himself in Christ. Our only hope is God's mercy. As Christians, we have no ground for pride. We have sinned against God and are morally bankrupt. We have completely spent our small resources and now cannot provide for our most basic spiritual needs. We are entirely dependent upon God's mercy and grace for salvation. This is why the cross of Christ must always be at the center of our worship, whether public or private."
The Message of the Old Testament by Mark Dever

A series on singleness and but also many insightful things for just life. Listen whether you are single or not.

http://new.livestream.com/redeemer-nyc/single

One quote almost verbatim by Kathy Keller:
Sometimes the most crushing things like singlness or illness is that it may be lifelong. We look down this bleak corridor of years and say we cannot do it, etc. But the good news is that we don’t have to. We only have to take a day size chunk at a time. God gives us His grace. He upholds His presence just for the day. Jesus says that the day has its troubles of its own(?)
What God won’t do is enter our the dark imagination of worse nightmare and give hypothetical grace for you to see how well God will be taking care of you ten twenty years. God doesn’t play that game. If you want to imagine your life what you think it might be, you’re imagining it without the presence of God that will be there if you get there. If you get there He is already there waiting. But while you’re doing the whole imagination He is not in that.

Betsy Childs – God doesn’t hand out grace in a life time supply but given it to each day. If you feel you do not have the grace for your whole life, is because you weren’t given it yet.
He won’t give what you want/need until you need it.



Some of my other notes probably from Tim Keller:If we beat ourselves with how we aren’t married we’re putting selves in idolatry of traditional culture. Then if we have sex or live selfishly, we are in the idolatry of western world.
Greatest lie serpent said was that if we obey God we are missing out.Resisting doesn’t mean repression and ignoring. But it takes understanding it to have that self-control.If your marriage is “Good” you may not be going to Christ as much. The goal is the wedding supper at the end.Then if we have sex or live selfishly, we are in the idolatry of western world.Sex can even ruin friendships because it builds a character of selfishness when it occurs outside of marriage or even as masturbation.We lie in thinking God doesn’t love us much and that we love God much.

kid talk

kids say the funniest things. here are some things i remember from church, work, and just in life -

me: here have some water
kid: i'm full (leans back in chair and holds stomach). do you have some cookies?

we sing nursery rhymes at work with the kids
me: what's your favorite song?
kid: hey hum ho
me: err... a hey a hum a ho??
we ask dad later what she meant. she liked the song by lumineers "ho hey"

kid coming in late marching: sorry i'm earllyy

adult: do you want to play the ipad while we wait for your parents?
kid: no, do you have bubbles?
(i love bubbles therefore i love this kid)

kid says to me: you look like you came from the zoo
(because i was wearing a button down olive green polo shirt)

that's it for now... i'll think of more

The Good Fight

Most often the saying goes "college will make or break your faith". That is true from experience seeing peers either be saved, come closer to the Lord, build convictions, or turn away, see this wasn't for them. Either I'm a late bloomer or something, (but I think this is common for those who are young adults) but this young adult stage is another "make or break your faith". Or maybe it could be a lukewarm stage where one is secure in his beliefs, but the faithfulness is lacking. Sometimes the effort to live life for the Lord seems meaningless. We want to give up or be indifferent. We think we are knowledgeable with truth but find it boring, boring to talk about. Other things in the world seem more interesting to grab our attention; the gospel feels less relevant in that we also don't find the desire to share; the weight of sin is as heavy as a feather; serving seems redundant;  fellowshipping requires too much effort; life may not be what we imagined a few years ago, "God" is just a name. But I need say to myself, "Don't be such a fool!" "The fool says in his heart, 'There is no god.'" (Psalm 14:1) God is so much better. I remember the theme of my senior year college banquet was The Good Fight based off of 1 Timothy 6:11-12.

Flee from the love of money, flee from doctrines against Christ. But pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. 1 Timothy 6
The Word of the Lord endures forever. It isn't God who has changed, but we have just forgotten our First Love who is the same for eternity.

Fight the Good Fight

does it mean anything to pray?

Here:
http://t4g.org/media/2014/03/relenting-wrath-the-role-of-desperate-prayer-in-the-mystery-of-divine-providence/

There are a few messages that are ingrained in me; this is one of them.

Memorial

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/remember

But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (Hebrews 3:13)

For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes. (1 Corinthians 11:23-26)

Life isn't perfect yet somehow it is because God is sovereign.

relationships possible because of Christ

Two books (among other unfinished books) that I'm reading currently are Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross and Relationship: A Mess Worth Making.

Even past Easter, the Cross is just as significant. Have I lost my first love? Christ is all I need, yet I allow the world to distract me. And especially with quick access to distractions, it is even harder to keep my eyes on the cross. This reading has excerpts, short but powerful. If I were to explain the Gospel, I can probably say it in 5 minutes, but there are many facets of it to ponder and meditate. In a sermon I recently listened to, the pastor mentioned how we love stories. We get sucked into dramas, wanting to know what happens. We love the supernatural, the unconditional love, the "happy ever after", etc. But they are all made up; it's a way of "salvation" for the world form reality. Yet, the story of the Cross is reality. It is the most amazing story and it is true. It describes something supernatural, love, hope, power, and so forth. Our sinful self keeps us from the wonder the true story calls for. Let us not lose that wonder of how God poured upon His Son the wrath that we fully deserved. What a love. This seems all spiritual and how does this apply to every day? As I start reading Relationships: A Mess Worth Making, a topic I wish I were an expert in so I would not be hurt by them, I learn the need of the gospel even in them. It is quite freeing to know that I will fail on my own strength and that relationships will have unavoidable conflict. The solution is not really better strategies, but Christ as our hope.

"We all look for strategies or techniques that will free us from the pain of relationships and the hard work good relationships demand. We hope that better planning, more effective communication, clear role definitions, conflict resolution strategies, gender studies, and personality typing - to name just a few - will make the difference. There may be value in these things, but if they were all we needed, Jesus' life, death, and resurrection would be unnecessary or, at best, redundant.

Skills and techniques appeal to us because they promise that relational problems can be fixed by tweaking our behavior without altering the bent of our hearts. But the Bible says something very different. It says that Christ is the only real hope for relationships because only he can dig deep enough to address the core motivations and desires of our hearts." (11)

"Does the challenge and mess of relationships leave you discouraged? Does the biblical honesty about human community shock you? Are you feeling overwhelmed by the hard work relationships require? If so, you are ready for this last fact: The shattered relationship between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit at the cross provides the basis for our reconciliation. No other relationship ever suffered more than what Father, Son, and Holy Spirit endured when Jesus hung on the cross and cried, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus was willing to be the rejected Son so that our families would know reconciliation. Jesus was willing to become the forsaken friend so that we could have loving friendships. Jesus was willing to be the rejected Lord so that we could live in loving submission to one another. Jesus was willing to be the forsaken brother so that we could have godly relationships. Jesus was willing to be the crucified King so that our communities would experience peace." (13)

O great God of highest heaven

Occupy my lowly heart

Own it all and reign supreme

Conquer every rebel power

Let no vice or sin remain

That resists Your holy war

You have loved and purchased me

Make me Yours forevermore

I was blinded by my sin

Had no ears to hear Your voice

Did not know Your love within

Had no taste for heaven’s joys

Then Your Spirit gave me life

Opened up Your Word to me

Through the gospel of Your Son

Gave me endless hope and peace

Help me now to live a life

That’s dependent on Your grace

Keep my heart and guard my soul

From the evils that I face

You are worthy to be praised

With my every thought and deed

O great God of highest heaven

Glorify Your Name through me

"O Great God" © 2006 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

Reflections from Ghana

I’ve been writing this reflection and finally got to finishing it. Actually maybe I’ll just write some things and as more thoughts come I’ll just blog more rather than just writing one huge post. It has been three weeks since I left Ghana.  I wish it weren’t so, but it is becoming more of a distant memory like a movie and kind of surreal. I loved family vacations when I was a child, but as I got older, I didn’t care much for traveling. I enjoyed people more than places I saw and after awhile, I just had no care for traveling for the sake of just traveling. I had heard about this Ghana trip awhile ago and thought ok maybe this will be a good experience, plus I wouldn’t have to do the work of finding a place for my externship. After this trip, I have appreciated traveling more. I used to think people who traveled could use their time better by using it for people than for pleasure, but after seeing how I grew from it and how I may view life with more perspective, I think I was too quick to judge in the past. Of course traveling at the cost of commitment and responsibility for your more permanent place is probably not good.

I already had to write two papers for school about Ghana, but I wanted to write here a more personal reflection than just how the trip related to articles or even occupational therapy. I learned many things from my peers which I am thankful for too. When I think about Ghana, I think about how small I am. Being on the other side of the world reminded me of how big the world is. I see pictures of other countries through the Internet, but it is such a distant thing that reality and movies have the same effect on me. Going on this trip, I felt like I was part of something bigger than me. (If you’ve been on missions trips like Taiwan missions, it feels like that) It’s interesting because we try to have control in our lives, but to be a small part of something big is humbling yet delightful. It was nice not having Internet and limited phone access for those two weeks. I miss those days where our brains weren’t controlled by the sound of a text message or when there’s down time we wouldn’t simply fill our minds with quick thoughtless pictures. I miss those days when I would meditate on Scripture or pray when I walked to class or was in my room with not much to do. I miss how we would treasure face-to-face conversations. I spent many hours with my classmates at meal time, sitting on benches under the trees, laying on our beds, but I never felt socially awkward, silence was ok, we didn’t have our own agendas and responsibilities to take care of that prioritized over spending time with others. It was just refreshing.

I also thought about the Ghanaian culture of community. Children helped one another by pushing another’s wheelchair, feeding those who need help, and being a leader. I was conflicted as being an American OT, we seek to help others independence. Yet I want to help too. A boy had fallen and he looked around, I thought in my head whether to help him or is he seeking for attention when he should learn how to stand up. If I weren’t an OT, didn’t care about independence but just to help, I would’ve rushed to help him up. In the end, my classmate helped him. Sometimes I worry children will be spoiled as others offer assistance. But they weren’t spoiled and didn’t take advantage of this sort of thing. They had a sense of community that wasn’t selfish. I mean I do not know their hearts, but it appeared so.

The first Saturday we were there, we took the children to the beach. What delight they had in their faces! They love just the simple things, not complaining about not having things their way. Of course they are not perfect innocent children. Some of their sinful side is revealed.. but one of my classmates observed that there was something different about them than children we may see in the States. She observed that there was a love, a source that sustains them. We believe it is God working in them.

There was one occasion a girl and I were sitting at the curb at the basketball courts. I was trying to be an occupational therapist by having her draw, to work on her fine motor skills. She got a little lazy with the sidewalk chalk and asked me to draw. I asked her what she wanted me to draw. She said, “God.” I chuckled and said hmm ok, I’ll draw Jesus. And He was basically a stick figure. Then we talked about Jesus and what the cross was. We talked about God’s greatness and used the bridge illustration of how the cross connects us to God. And if that was all I did on the trip, it was worth it for that moment

I enjoyed the time with my classmates. I did not have expectations with how my relationships would be like there, but it was fun and a blessing to think through things together. We together became more in awe of God. Sometimes when I think of the highlight Ghana, I think of just those relationships built and them drawing nearer to God. It was so sweet and it brings me a simple child-like joy.

Lastly for this post, I have learned that God is everywhere. God’s creation is beautiful. We saw more of Him in the children and in creation where there was less distraction from the world. A friend had wonder in the clouds of Ghana. Then when she came back to the states and looked to the sky, she said she saw the same cloud! Ok it probably wasn’t the same cloud, but she meant it in that God is here as well. It takes more effort to take the distractions away, but God is here. God is everywhere. God is with us on our journeys. I have had to adjust to traveling a number of times – LA, the Bay Area, Taiwan, and now Ghana. It is always difficult to leave people, close people, having to take experiences to new places alone… but God is everywhere and He has been with me at all times. Circumstances and places may change, but God doesn’t and He knows me.

I guess this actually will be the last thing I say. But I went to Ghana knowing I would leave 2 weeks later. I’ve been to Joni and Friends and other trips where I knew I had to say ‘bye’. So I just figured I’ll come in, do my OT thing, then go out. I didn’t want to put my emotions or affections and be aching with that missing feeling. Thankfully I am growing in that it is less difficult, but I am thankful that God did put that affection in me. Thankful that He allowed me to love upon these children and feel this heart for children with disabilities.

Rachel Barkey

I stumbled upon a video I watched in 2009. I am sure I was encouraged then, but I am encouraged more now because by the grace of God I have grown and experienced the Truths this woman speaks of. The world can give its encouragement, but they fall short. It can give words of hope, but it still falls short. In the midst of suffering, the gospel may seem irrelevant because it talks about sin. But the gospel is actually very relevant. Please listen



http://deathisnotdying.com/eventvideo/

"When i try to make Him into a God who serves me, I sin."

She quotes Al Mohler: "When a human glorifies himself, he robs others of joy.[Self-aggrandizement and human megalomania cause hurt and harm to others, not blessing and joy.] But when God displays and exhibits His glory, He shares joy with His creatures and wholeness with all creation. Put most directly, without the knowledge of God's glory, we would be robbed of true joy."

"My current pet peeve, the one that makes me rant, is the lie of self-esteem; it is everywhere. What distresses me the most is how prevalent it is in the church today. The lie of self-esteem is this: If I believe I am good enough or that I am worthy enough, I will be happy. In the secular world it sounds like this: believe in yourself, you deserve it, you have the power within you to do or be whatever you want if you put your mind to it. Learn to love yourself. In the Christian world it sounds like this: just believe you are loved by God then you'll be happy. Accept yourself because God already accepted you. God loves you so you should love yourself. They all sound pretty good. Nothing wrong with it. But there is, "me me me", it's all about me..."

knock knock

we need a little laugh once in awhile right? this conversation makes me laugh every time i read it.

If you haven't seen Frozen, this is the reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpzvS0ATxB4

Finally Alive

I love the reminder of this passage, Ephesians 2:1-10. It sums up so clearly and perfectly the essence of the believer's life.

And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. 

We were utterly an enemy of God. It wasn't just part of us, that was our identity. We walked, lived, indulged in sin. We were dead.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. 

Salvation is God's doing. It is His great love. It is a gift. It is grace.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. 

But that isn't the end of the story. This last verse encourages me so much when I wonder why we are still on earth. We are able to do good works because of the former verses... He created and saved us for this, for His glory

talk about sovereignty

"In Revelation 13:8, John writes about 'everyone whose name has not been written before the foundation of the world in the book of life of the Lamb who was slain.' So there was a book before the foundation of the world called "the book of life of the Lamb who was slain." Before the world was created, God had already planned that his Son would be slain like a lamb to save all those who are written in the book.

 Or consider 2 Timothy 1:9: '[God] saved us and called  us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.' Saving grace was given to us before the ages began. That is, it was given to us before there was any human sin to save us from. Therefore, grace was planned before human sin was there to need it. This means that God's plan to save us through grace was not a response to human decisions to sin. Saving grace was the plan that made sin necessary. God did not find sin in the world and then make a plan to remedy it. He had the plan before the ages, and that plan was for the glory of sin-conquering grace through the death of Jesus Christ.

This is even more plain in Ephesians 1:4-6: '[God] chose us in [Christ] before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.' To what end did God predestine us sinners for adoption? To the praise of the glory of his grace. That is why the plan was made. The ultimate aim of the eternal plan was that praise might be as intense as possible for the glory of God's grace. And the apex of that glory is in the death of Jesus. So much so that the gospel of the death of Christ for sinners is called 'the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God' (2 Cor 4:4)

John Piper, Spectacular Sins (58-59)

If this is Who God is, then I'm sure He's sovereign over all things all the time.

Friendship

This is a concept that occurs throughout our whole lives, even longer than marriage, yet discussed infrequently. One thing about this type of relationship is that it occurs with many people and one can have multiple friends of different race, gender, age, whereas marriage occurs with just one person with a friendship relationship still intertwined in there. Who has taught us what friendships should be like? No one really taught me; they kind of just happened. (updated: actually people do talk about relationships on how we are to love one another, serve, etc. but somehow we disconnect that from nitty gritty of our actual friends and how we view friends) Yet scripture does talk much about it. Sometimes using the word “friends” and sometimes just “one another” and sometimes “others” where this love may not be reciprocated.

Jesus says: “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. This I command you, that you love one another.” (John 15:12-17)

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends? Who has shown me such a love? Christ has. He is the greatest friend one can have. He has chosen us, not the other way around. He does not choose us because we are useful to Him, because we like Him, because we are perfect. He loves us despite of us. Knowing this as an example of what a friend is, how do I love others? Love those who are useful, likeable, beneficial? Do we see others as having an eternal soul? Friend or no friend, what is their greatest need? What is the best we can give to people? Not ourselves because we are not the best things in life, but guide their eyes toward God.

I have known these things already, these truths that God being first in my life, that I am to love others, and that I am to encourage others to God. But I never connected that fully and purely in my relationships with others. The more I think about how often we compare with one another, the sadder I get. Who taught us to compare to others? If relationships are supposed to be as stated above, what is with all this comparing? (I speak for myself if this applies to anyone at all.) GirltalkHome has a whole series on the “Snare of Compare”. One thing they talk about and I remember a friend defined jealousy as wishing for something another has but envy as wishing another to not have it. Oh how cruel, but we do it so often. What kind of love is this?? We see a picture of food and we crave it. We see pictures of couples dating or married, and we are jealous and sometimes envious. We see someone get into a graduate school and we compare our intelligence. We see someone being well-liked and we look at our own unpopularity. We get jealous of those closest to us. What? How can you call them your friends and you look at them like that? Do I not desire their best? Their love for God? Their growth in God? When they look at me, do they see past me and see God? Do I pray for them?

There are so many principles to relationships. But wrestling with these thoughts on what friendship really is and entails has been frustrating yet also freeing. Frustrating in that true friends are rare, being a friend is difficult, sometimes loving feels foolish and pathetic. Tim Keller lists four traits to a friend: constancy, candor, "care"fulness, and counsel. I find candor and constancy rare traits... our culture is a busy, mobile, independent, selfish one; tolerance is seen as not telling someone the truth because of hurt feelings. But knowing God as my truest and greatest friend frees me to love despite if others may fail or hurt me (2 Corinthians 5:14). I have never been betrayed and cannot imagine it, but even if one of my close friends betrays me, it would not be the end of me. My most important relationship and sustainer in life will never do so. Rather He was forsaken on my behalf despite my constant betrayal of Him every time I sin.
Sometimes we can idolize relationships, putting others above God or wanting to be first in others’ lives. But it isn't that God being first in our lives means our relationships with others are mediocre. That goes with anything else in life that just because God comes before other things, doesn't mean we do things with mediocre. But the greater He is in our lives, the richer and more excellent these other things should be as well. I can have richer relationships because of the foundation in our great infinite God.
Jesus also says: By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:35)

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Further Resources:
“Friendship” sermon by Tim Keller
The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis
"He Stood by Me and Strengthened Me for the Sake of the Gospel" sermon by John Piper

"The Cross also exposes me before the eyes of other people, informing them of the depth of my depravity. If I wanted others to think highly of me, I would conceal the fact that a shameful slaughter of the perfect Son of God was required that I might be saved. But when I stand at the foot of the Cross and am seen by others under the light of that Cross, I am left uncomfortably exposed before their eyes. Indeed, the most humiliating gossip that could ever be whispered about me is blared from Golgotha's hill; and my self-righteous reputation is left in ruins in the wake of its revelations. With the worst facts about me thus exposed to the view of others, I find myself feeling that I truly have nothing left to hide.
"Thankfully, the more exposed I see that I am by the Cross, the more I find myself opening up to others about ongoing issues of sin in my life. (Why would anyone be shocked to hear of my struggles with past and present sin when the Cross already told them I am a desperately sinful person?) And the more open I am in confessing my sins to fellow-Christians, the more I enjoy the healing of the Lord in response to their grace-filled counsel and prayers. Experiencing richer levels of Christ's love in companionship with such saints, I give thanks for the gospel's role in forcing my hand toward self-disclosure and freedom that follows."
Milton Vincent, A Gospel Primer

"The weight of glory, does not mean we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously."
C.S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory"

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves