Practicing Affirmation

I'm reading through Practicing Affirmaiton by Sam Crabtree. He reminds us to make affirmation in such a way where God is glorified. Be thankful for people but to God. I'm kind of simplifying what he says. Loving and giving is easily done with expectations, wanting some sort of reward or reciprocation. But there's more joy when they're done without expectations. This gave light to the way I try speak encouraging things. Pretty straight forward.

What is flattery? Like other corruptions, it starts out rooted in a good thing, but ends up putting a corrupt twist on that good thing. For example, fornication puts a corrupt twist on the God-given desire to express intimacy sexually. Gluttony puts a corrupt twist on the God-given practice of eating, which can be a wholesome interaction between stomachs and food, both given by God as good things. Gossip takes God-given things like truth and speech and puts a corrupt twist on them so that they become meddlesome and defaming. Similarly, affirmation is good, but flattery puts a corrupt twist on it. In order to avoid folly and corruption, how shall we distinguish flattery from affirmation? While affirmation commends virtues, flattery exaggerates them, glosses over flaws, offers excessive input, and is insincere, not chiefly interested in building up the recipient in Christlikeness, but interested chiefly in obtaining some kind of direct favor. Healthy affirmation does not exaggerate or schmooze. Having affirmed, the affirmer can walk away with no expectation of receiving anything from the recipient. A good affirmer, just as the giver of a cup of cold water, looks to God for his reward. In contrast, there is a thread of seduction in flattery. The flatterer is after something from the flattered. While affirmation is a free gift with no strings attached and trusts God to bring about whatever good harvest he wishes to bring from the seed planted, flattery is a bribe, and a direct return is expected—soon. Godly affirmation approves of Christlikeness and disapproves of anything contrary, whereas the flatterer approves anything—Christlike or not—that may achieve the desired response.