joy in forgiveness

In small group, we discussed how we should be the happiest or most joyful people in the world. God has forgiven our sins. How blessed are we?
If You, LORD, should mark iniquities,O Lord, who could stand?But there is forgiveness with You,That You may be feared.O Israel, hope in the LORD;For with the LORD there is lovingkindness,And with Him is abundant redemption.Psalm 130:3-4, 7

Because we’re born wanting to prove ourselves worthy of God’s love, one of Satan’s favorite weapons is the irrational shame of canceled sin.
Repentance does require remorse, but not despair and depression. If our sin has been canceled (Colossians 2:14) and our condemnation called off (Romans 8:1), we shouldn't live and act and feel like the unforgiven. But we do.
Your words can be the God-given reminder that Jesus paid it all, and hell has no claim on those who are his. http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/meet-the-miracle-next-to-you-this-morning 

How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,

Whose sin is covered!How blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity,

And in whose spirit there is no deceit!When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away

Through my groaning all day long.

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah.I acknowledged my sin to You,

And my iniquity I did not hide;

I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”;

And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah.
Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous ones;

And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart.Psalm 32:1-5, 11

more on prayer

Finally, as you get to know your heavenly Father, you’ll get to know your own heart as well. As you develop your relationship with him, it will change you. Or more specifically, he will change you. Real change is at the heart level. We keep forgetting God is a person. We don’t learn to love someone without it changing us. That is just the nature of love that reflects the heart of God. Because God’s love is unchanging, the second person of the Trinity, Jesus of Nazareth, now has a scarred body. The Trinity is different because of love. As you develop your relationship with your heavenly Father, you’ll change. You’ll discover nests of cynicism, pride, and self-will in your heart. You will be unmasked. None of us likes being exposed. We have an allergic reaction to dependency, but this is the state of the heart most necessary for a praying life. A needy heart is a praying heart. Dependency is the heartbeat of prayer. So when it starts getting uncomfortable, don’t pull back from God. He is just starting to work. Be patient.
A Praying Life by Paul Miller

church

What is the church and how am I supposed to think of it?

The church is Christ's bride.


Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. Ephesians 5:25-27
And we are composed of different parts (1 Cor 12). I remember reading the book Slave by John MacArthur and thinking, we, believers, are all slaves/servants of God. We all live for the purpose of glorifying God. Where is this pride in me coming from? As the body we encourage one another, strive for holiness, bear each other's burdens. God desires purity in the church, meaning integrity and honesty.


Reading JM's Opening up Acts book he says: 

The second result of the church's purity was evangelistic success as 'all the more believers in the Lord, multitudes of men and women, were constantly added to their number' (Acts 5:16). Some may complain that a firm stance against sin will turn people away from the church and God, and that we should concentrate on 'love' and 'tolerance'. But that would be the opposite of what God desires. Real love is truth, and cannot tolerate sin (1 John 1:5-10, 4:8). In fact, a firm stand for personal purity was exactly what energized the early church into greater evangelism. They submitted to God and gave the devil no foothold in their lives (James 4:7). This evident purity kept the fakes and phonies outside because of their fear of God (v.13a) and prevented unbelievers from infiltrating the church, like tares sown among the wheat (Matt. 13:24-30). Only genuinely born again Christians would be a part of such an assembly. This purity made even the outsiders hold them in 'high esteem' (v.13b) for their love for one another.... Once people saw the power of the church in its purity and love, they could not help but be drawn towards the love of God.

Quite contrary to our normal thinking that we must be tolerant. But purity of the church shows something. It shows God's holiness and love for us, and in turn we love one another as we keep each other accountable towards Christlikeness. This can be repelling but also appealing to unbelievers when they see this unique radical love.
I was discontent sometimes serving in the children's ministry. There's little fruit and a lot of doubt whether they're just regurgitating what I am saying when they have the "right answers". My buddies who serve the older students seem to have a loftier task - bigger issues, but also means bigger fruit. But that's silly of me to think. Jesus loves the little ones too and these are precious souls. Sometimes I think of my colleagues who became believers in college and how they say they didn't pay attention when they were kids or didn't get a grasp of the gospel then... I am going to be that teacher that the kids will look back and say I didn't pay attention to or understand her. haha. But that's ok. I am to spend and be spent for souls. As a body, whether we serve in the same or different ministries, it's neat to see how we pray for one another's burdens and encourage each other in the way we serve others. I love how in years past and now when a brother/sister and I would serve in different areas of church but still cared for the other's ministries because of our love for the Body. I hope I continue to have that mindset and love for the Body... it is Christ's bride whom He gave Himself up for.

Since today is Sunday...
"Every day belongs to God. But Sunday is the Lord's day in a special way. Jesus has owned it uniquely ever since that first Easter when He stepped out of the empty tomb. Think of it. On that morning, for the first time, He had conquered death. He had atoned for our sin. He had made a way for us to come boldly into the presence of the Father. And every Sunday since has been an anniversary of that amazing morning. The Savior has risen - and everything has changed"
Stop dating the Church by Joshua Harris

doesn't He care?

God is creator and created all things. He is sovereign and in control over all.

Sometimes when situations or trials occur we wonder if God is there. When there are people sick, when we struggle with sin, when souls are hardened against the gospel. Doesn't He care? Doesn't He care more? He won't do what He has given me abilities to, but really how am I able to do those things to begin with?
He is my strength.

Is He big and is He needed?

prayer is such a necessity... He does care. He does care more.

School is starting tomorrow, and possibly my last first day of the school year for the rest of my life! There's always this anticipation for first day, what will classes be like? Who will I sit next to? Ok, maybe not as exciting now as it was in elementary school. I'm excited to see my classmates from last year, talk about the hopefully ok summer. 

But then there's the dread and fear of whatever comes with school, relationships, uncertainty of future. Again as I mentioned way back, I thought I was set for life once I got into grad school. In a sense, maybe I have a direction in my career, but this career is not the answer to life. It's not. It plays a great role, but it's not my life ambition. I definitely do not feel that satisfaction with getting into graduate school as my frustration before getting in led me to think. The Lord is my only hope.

I hope this remains my motivation in my career and relationships and just life... 

And He said to him, “ ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ Matthew 22:37 

Especially in school, I use my mind for the Lord; God gave us minds to think. Let us think for the Lord and let us love the Lord.

the nobodies

"But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence" 1 Corinthians 1:27-29. God's favorite instruments are nobodies, so that no man can boast before God. In other words, God chooses whom He chooses in order that He might receive the glory. He chooses weak instruments so that no one will attribute the power to human instruments rather than to God, who wields those instruments. Such a strategy is unacceptable to those whose whole pursuit in life is aimed toward the goal of human glory.
(Twelve Ordinary Men, 13)

Wishes on a birthday

A quote shared with me for my birthday:

I believe it ought to be our continual aim and desire to go forward, and our watchword on every returning birthday, and at the beginning of every year, should be "more and more" (1 Thess 4:1): more knowledge, more faith, more obedience, more love. The will of the Lord is our sanctification, and it ought to be our will too.

 Holiness by J.C. Ryle