i asked the Lord

I Asked The Lord by John Newton

1. I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face

2. Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair

3. I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest

4. Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part

5. Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low

6. Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

7. "These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me,
That thou mayest seek thy all in me."

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/I+Asked+the+Lord/ZdKSL

"Well done, good and faithful slave"

Is it more important to be faithful or successful?

Do I worry more about my inabilities that I waste my abilities?

Am I a "wicked, lazy slave"? (Matthew 25:14-30)

I pray that your love may abound still more and more

Something I've been constantly reminded of and rebuked as I've quoted before 2 Corinthians 5:14, is how to love. We love so imperfectly, but am I even striving to love in the right way? Scripture says many times to love one another and especially in light of God's love. What do I seek for others? For them to see that I love them or to see that God loves them? Usually the former... probably. It makes sense why we feel offended when they don't see our love rather than sadness that they don't see God's love. We want the glory. But it is much more delightful for others to see God's love because His love is great, beautiful, enduring, pure, lovely, powerful.
So is it better to desire for people whether believers or not to see God's love for them? And that includes even while doing little mundane things that I'm not self-seeking?

The apostle Paul begins many of his letters with thanksgiving and hope for the churches: "For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this I pray, that your love my abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:8-11

wait

A friend said to me, "Isn't it funny how we ask God for patience, and we want it now?!"
I've been learning about patience and I'll leave this to you.

"The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
     To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
     For the salvation of the LORD."
                                      Lamentations 3:25-26

"Wait" by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said,
"Child, you must wait."
"Wait?  You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened?  Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'Yes,' a go-ahead sign,
Or even a "No' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And, Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
'I'm weary of asking!  I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause the mountains to run.

"All you seek, I could give you, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want--
But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

"You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you!

"So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, 'Wait.'"

Yet I will exult in the Lord

Though the fig tree should not blossom
   And there be no fruit on the vines,
   Though the yield of the olive should fail
   And the fields produce no food,
   Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
   And there be no cattle in the stalls, 
Yet I will exult in the LORD,
   I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

                                                   Habakkuk 3:17-18

God's kingdom

Was cleaning out my desk and stuff... and then I found my journal from freshmen year. I journaled that a brother prayed that we are not here for success or to build memories, but for God's kingdom. How I easily forget.

"The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field." Matthew 13:44

'When God’s present kingdom consumes and saturates my entire life, that is how I am effective and will make a difference. It comes down to where every word, every thought, every action, and my entire being are to His glory, wherever He places me and whatever He puts me through for His matchless, invaluable kingdom.'

watch over your heart

"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." -Proverbs 4:23

The flesh is weak, the spirit is willing. Self-control, submission, trust in the Lord. We tell ourselves lies of temporary "pleasures" that weakens and dries the soul. The desires of the flesh can seem so subtle, but it may eat us up and we forget the Lord. That is why we always need to be on guard; there is no break from spiritual discipline. Lord, help us.

"You'll never amount to anything and you'll never accomplish anything of significance unless you learn habitually to do those things you don't like to do. You won't move ahead in life by letting it all hang out, by just doing what feels good in the moment, by following your passions. You only really make an impact in life by saying "no" to pleasurable but empty things and saying "yes" to the good things that may not be pleasant in the moment. And it is a sign of maturity to be able to do that, by the way. It's the sign of a mature Christian to say no to the short term pleasure in order to reap the long term good."

J.P. Moreland