Before my accident, I didn't "need" Christ. Now I needed Him desperately. When I had been on my feet, it never seemed important that He be part of my decision-making - what party to go to, whether to go to a friend's house or a football game, etc. It didn't seem that He would even be interested in such insignificant things. But, now that my life was reduced to the basic life routines, He was a part of it because He cared for me. He was, in fact, my only dependable reality. (97)
"Look, how many times have you heard somebody - we've done it ourselves many times- pray piously: 'Lord, I'm such a sinner. I deserve hell and Your worst condemnation. Thank You for saving me.' We tell God in one breath that we aren't worthy of His goodness. Then, if we happen to run into some trouble or suffering, we get bitter and cry out against God: 'Lord, what are You doing to me?!' Y'see? I think that if we admit we deserve the worst - hell - and then only get a taste of it by having to suffer, we ought to try somehow and live with it, don't you?" (Joni's dad)
"Do you think I deserved to be paralyzed - that God is punishing me?" (Joni)
"Of course not, honey. That was taken care of on the cross." (Joni's dad) (113)
Finally I realized I wasn't getting anywhere with my rebellious temper tantrums against God. I began to see that it was my way of sinning. Before my accident, sin consisted of the things I did. But now, there was no opportunity for me to give action to sinful thoughts. I began to see that sin was an attitude as much as an act. Before the action, the mind frames the thoughts and attitudes that become the basis for our rebellion against God. I saw that anger, lust, and rebellion - although "merely" attitudes - were sinful. Sin wasn't just all the bad things I did, but an integral part of my makeup. Although there was no opportunity for me to physically rebel against God, I sinned nonetheless. It was part of my nature. (115)
Joni: An Unforgettable Story by Joni Eareckson Tada
