School is starting tomorrow, and possibly my last first day of the school year for the rest of my life! There's always this anticipation for first day, what will classes be like? Who will I sit next to? Ok, maybe not as exciting now as it was in elementary school. I'm excited to see my classmates from last year, talk about the hopefully ok summer. 

But then there's the dread and fear of whatever comes with school, relationships, uncertainty of future. Again as I mentioned way back, I thought I was set for life once I got into grad school. In a sense, maybe I have a direction in my career, but this career is not the answer to life. It's not. It plays a great role, but it's not my life ambition. I definitely do not feel that satisfaction with getting into graduate school as my frustration before getting in led me to think. The Lord is my only hope.

I hope this remains my motivation in my career and relationships and just life... 

And He said to him, “ ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ Matthew 22:37 

Especially in school, I use my mind for the Lord; God gave us minds to think. Let us think for the Lord and let us love the Lord.

the nobodies

"But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence" 1 Corinthians 1:27-29. God's favorite instruments are nobodies, so that no man can boast before God. In other words, God chooses whom He chooses in order that He might receive the glory. He chooses weak instruments so that no one will attribute the power to human instruments rather than to God, who wields those instruments. Such a strategy is unacceptable to those whose whole pursuit in life is aimed toward the goal of human glory.
(Twelve Ordinary Men, 13)

Wishes on a birthday

A quote shared with me for my birthday:

I believe it ought to be our continual aim and desire to go forward, and our watchword on every returning birthday, and at the beginning of every year, should be "more and more" (1 Thess 4:1): more knowledge, more faith, more obedience, more love. The will of the Lord is our sanctification, and it ought to be our will too.

 Holiness by J.C. Ryle

Summer is coming to an end

I’ve never looked forward to ending summer this much. But I enjoyed parts of it and I will share two:

One highlight is my sweet Melody getting married!

It is by far my favorite wedding. The whole weekend with rehearsal lunch which entailed pretty much like a class hangout throughout the day, then the next day just getting ready with my class girls and others, taking pictures, sitting right next to the beautiful bride at dinner… what a wonderful weekend. And to have been able to see Melody and Peter grow from just friends to their dating relationship to now marriage is such a privilege… especially when I may not have approved in the beginning ;) But I wholeheartedly approve now.

Now they're in New York and it is amazing where God leads us.


By the way, the prime rib was delicious and big.

And the view was beautiful

 
This video is one of the few things that make me smile these days, I don't think they'd mind me sharing =)
http://vimeo.com/71535491

And for some reason it makes me think of John 3:29-30
He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. So this joy of mine has been made full. He must increase, but I must decrease.

The second part of summer is actually the mundane, seemingly ordinary conversations. In the booklet from my college fellowship's senior banquet a few years back, I said one thing I enjoyed most was meeting up with people. And so this summer, it has been those times with friends and family and children at church - the simple high five, hug, smile, poke, laugh, encouragement, comment that are extraordinary, as well as talking on the kitchen floor, lying on the ground, climbing a tree like we're a hundred years old, discussing theology or food. I don't crave for big events like I did when I was young to feel like I'm alive. I crave to see God in the ordinary things.  (I'm not disclaiming big events) It could be Joni and Friends-like every day; it just takes more effort to see the Lord in the ordinary times, but He is there and here.

it was a glimpse of heaven (continued)

I am not sure what happened with my last post. I must've really been sleepy and just cut the post short with no connection with the last paragraph to the rest of the post.
I think my point was, being in a hospital where the patients can very well be me in 10, 20 years or tomorrow, I am more keen to the futility or vapor-like life before me. It still boggles my mind how heaven, a place of perfection and great joy, can best be tasted on this side of eternity through weakness, disability, and brokenness, not wealth, comfort, or entertainment that's meant to stimulate our minds. But again, I think the answer is we sense God's presence more in those times because we know we need Him more. God's presence is what makes heaven, heaven. And well, maybe in trials God seems quite distant, but the desperation in our cries just hits the spot with truth regarding our state before God.

Ok, that's it for now. Hope that made a better ending to the previous post.