These inward trials

What is the purpose of grace? Primarily, to restore our relationship with God. When God lays the foundation of this restored relationship, by forgiving our sins as we trust his Son, he does so in order that henceforth we and he may live in fellowship. And what he does in renewing our nature is intended to make us capable of, and actually to lead us into, the exercise of love, trust, delight, hope and obedience Godward - those acts which, from our side, make up the reality of fellowship with God, who is constantly making himself known to us. This is what all the work of grace aims at - an ever deeper knowledge of God, and an ever closer fellowship with him. Grace is God drawing us sinners closer and closer to himself.
How does God in grace prosecute this purpose? Not by shielding us from assault by the world, the flesh and the devil, nor by protecting us from burdensome and frustrating circumstances, nor yet by shielding us from troubles created by our own temperament and psychology; but rather by exposing us to all these things, so as to overwhelm us with a sense of our own inadequacy, and to drive us to cling to him more closely. This is the ultimate reason, from our standpoint, why God fills our lives with troubles and perplexities of one sort and another: it is to ensure that we shall learn to hold him fast. The reason why the Bible spends so much of its time reiterating that God is a strong rock, a firm defense, and a sure refuge and help for the weak, is that God spends so much of his time bringing us home to us that we are weak, both mentally and morally, and dare not trust ourselves to find, or to follow, the right road.
When we walk along a clear road feeling fine, and someone takes our arm to help us, as likely as not we shall impatiently shake him off; but when we are caught in rough country in the dark, with a storm getting up and our strength spent, and someone takes our arm to help us, we shall thankfully lean on him. And God wants us to feel that our way through life is rough and perplexing, so that we may learn thankfully to lean on him. Therefore he takes steps to drive us out of the self-confidence to trust in himself- in the classical scriptural phrase for the secret of the godly life, to "wait on the Lord."

Knowing God by JI Packer 

"The glorious excellencies and beauty of God..."

The glorious excellencies and beauty of God will be what will forever entertain the minds of the saints, and the love of God will be their everlasting feast. The redeemed will indeed enjoy other things; they will enjoy the angels, and will enjoy one another: but that which they shall enjoy in the angels, or each other, or in anything else whatsoever, that will yield then delight and happiness, will be what will be seen of God in them. 

Jonathan Edwards

who do I fear?

I know God is my Father. I know He has adopted me. I know He loves me. But do I think, feel, believe, act, trust as if these are true? Thinking is a good thing, but sometimes too much is quite unnecessary which I tend to do. “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

Thinking about this makes me laugh at myself. Why do I fear man? Why do I care about what others think, whether Christian or not? Being considerate is good, but being controlled and consumed by man’s opinion isn’t. They may be able to offer accolades, money, some sort “comfort”. But it’s silly to forget that it is rather God’s opinion that matters. He sees everything done in public and in secret, and He will reward in His own sovereign way. He is my Father, and I do not need to be afraid of losing His favor because of Christ’s work on the cross. Therefore when I am trying to please men, tired of discouragements, or prideful of my popularity, I need to remember that I really am nothing before God and man’s opinion means nothing; I can turn to my Father Who loves me dearly though I do not deserve His love and give thanks to Him.

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

The Seven Sayings of the Saviour on the Cross  by Arthur Pink

5. Here we may see the basis of our salvation.

God is holy and therefore he will not look upon sin. God is just and therefore he judges sin wherever it is found. But God is love as well: God delighteth in mercy, and therefore infinite wisdom devised a way whereby justice might be satisfied and mercy left free to flow out to guilty sinners. This way was the way of substitution, the just suffering for the unjust. The Son of God himself was the one selected to be the substitute, for none other would suffice. Through Nahum, the question had been asked, "Who can stand before his indignation"? and who can abide in the fierceness of his anger?" (1:6). This question received its answer in the adorable person of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He alone could "stand". One only could bear the curse and yet rise a victor above it. One only could endure all the avenging wrath and yet magnify the law and make it honourable. One only could suffer his heel to be bruised by Satan and yet in that bruising destroy him that had the power of death. God laid hold upon one that was "mighty" (Ps. 89:19). One who was no less than the Fellow of Jehovah, the radiance of his glory, the exact impress of his person. Thus we see that boundless love, inflexible justice and omnipotent power all combined to make possible the salvation of those who believe.

At the cross all our iniquities were laid upon Christ and therefore did divine judgment fall upon him. There was no way of transferring sin without also transferring its penalty. Both sin and its punishment were transferred to the Lord Jesus. On the cross Christ was making propitiation, and propitiation is solely Godwards. It was a question of meeting the claims of God’s holiness; it was a matter of satisfying the demands of his justice. Not only was Christ’s blood shed for us, but it was also shed for God: he "hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savour" (Ephesians 5:2). Thus it was foreshadowed on the memorable night of the Passover in Egypt: the lamb’s blood must be where God’s eye could see it - "When I see the blood, I will pass over you!"

The death of Christ on the cross was a death of curse: "Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree" (Gal. 3:13). The "curse" is alienation from God. This is apparent from the words which Christ will yet speak to those that shall stand on his left hand in the day of his power - "Depart from me, ye cursed" he will say (Matthew 25:41). The curse is exile from the presence and glory of God.

This explains the meaning of a number of Old Testament types. The bullock which was slain on the annual Day of Atonement, after its blood had been sprinkled upon and before the mercy-seat, was removed to a place without(outside) the Camp" (Leviticus 16:27) and there its entire carcass was burned. It was in the centre of the camp that God had his dwelling-place, and exclusion from the camp was banishment from the presence of God. Thus it was, too, with the leper. "All the days wherein the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean: he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his habitation be" (Lev. 13:46) - this was because the leper was the embodied type of the sinner. Here also is the anti-type of the "brazen serpent". Why did God instruct Moses to set a "serpent" on a pole, and bid the bitten Israelites look upon it? Imagine a serpent as a type of Christ the Holy One of God! Yes, but it represented him as "made a curse for us", for the serpent was the reminder of the curse. On the cross then Christ was fulfilling these Old Testament foreshadowings. He was "outside the camp" (compare Hebrews 13:12) - separated from the presence of God. He was as the "leper" - made sin for us. He was as the "brazen serpent" - made a curse for us. Hence too, the deep meaning of the crown of thorns - the symbol of the curse! Lifted up, his brow encircled with thorns, to show he was bearing the curse for us.

Here, too, is the significance of the three hours darkness which lay over the land as a pall of death. It was supernatural darkness. It was not night for the sun was at its zenith. As Mr. Spurgeon well said, "It was midnight at midday". It was no eclipse. Competent astronomers tell us that at the time of the crucifixion the moon was at her farthest from the sun. But this cry of Christ’s gives the meaning of the darkness, as the darkness gives us the meaning of that bitter cry. One thing alone can explain this darkness, as one thing alone can interpret this cry - that Christ had taken the place of the guilty and lost ones, that he was in the place of sin-bearing, that he was enduring the judgment due his people, that he who knew no sin was "made sin" for us. That cry was uttered that we might be allowed to know of what passed there. It was the manifestation of atonement, so to speak for three (three hours) is ever the number of manifestation. God is light and the "darkness" is the natural sign of his turning away. The Redeemer was left alone with the sinner’s sin: that was the explanation of the three hours darkness. Just as there will rest upon the damned a twofold misery in the lake of fire, namely, the pain of sense and the pain of loss; so upon Christ answerably, he suffered the outpoured wrath of God and also the withdrawal of his presence and fellowship.

For the believer the cross is interpreted in Galatians 2:20, "I am crucified with Christ". He was my substitute; God reckoned me one with the Saviour. His death was mine. He was wounded for my transgressions and bruised formy iniquities. Sin was not pushed away but put away. As another has said, "Because God judged sin on the Son, he now accepts the believing sinner in the Son". Our life is hid with Christ in God (Col. 3:3). I am shut up in Christ because Christ was shut out from God.

He suffered in our stead, he saved his people thus;
The curse that fell upon his head, was due by right to us.
The storm that bowed his blessed head, is hushed for ever now
And rest Divine is mine instead, while glory crowns his brow.

Here then is the basis of our salvation. Our sins have been borne. God’s claims against us have been fully met. Christ was forsaken of God for a season that we might enjoy his presence for ever. "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Let every believing soul make answer: he entered the awful darkness that I might walk in the light; he drank the cup of woe that I might drink the cup of joy; he was forsaken that I might be forgiven!